I always wondered about the social life in the western countries and the role of the family within the social fabric. For us the Arabs, the family is the corner stone of the community and rarely do we see a young man leaving his parents’ house to live alone unless he is married of course. And this is so different from what we know about the west.
Because of my background, it was hard for me to understand the importance of the independence from the family. I always questioned the true reasons which led the Western societies in general to this position.
I am not condemning or criticizing the personnel freedom but rather wondering about the reasons that make the role and the importance of the family inferior.
A German colleague working with me in Afghanistan gave me an interesting point of view regarding this subject.
He said that for example, the advantage of living in Germany is having the social security system… But at the same time, this system is the root of all evils!!!!
This was shocking!!!
I mean that the dream of each Arab is to have a social security system which provides him with the minimum of health and living standards. So why would the social security be the root of all evils!!!
Then my colleague, with his wide sarcastic smile, clarified more his idea.
Sixty years ago in Germany, when a woman wanted to get married, the first question that would be raised was: what is the financial status of the groom?
The good financial status of the groom was very important for a family to allow the daughter to get married. A woman could never marry a poor man without having objection and possible rejection from her family side.
Since the social security system was applied, the financial support from the family was not necessary anymore. Each woman had her own social security and she could choose any man because he too had his own social security. Thus, women have widely liberated themselves from the family influence regarding choosing a man.
But it didn’t stop only here; the social security system meant that young men and women were also capable of making their own ways without family financial support, which meant that the role and influence of the parents on the decision of their kids became weaker. And this is how the independency of youth became possible and largely practiced.
The impact didn’t only affect the kids, but also the married couples. In the past, a couple would need to raise many kids to assist them when they get older, but after applying the social security system, all the old couples enjoyed a retirement plan which means there were no need any more for having lots of kids or any kid at all.
My friend carried on saying that the society is now paying the price of this system; the family became a minor component in people’s lives and the respect for the parents’ role became much less.
More divorces are happening each day and few people are getting married which lead to the fact that death rates are much higher than birth rates.
Government is now encouraging people to raise children by offering additional financial support for couples who have children.
This dialogue with my colleague reminded me of what the Portuguese nurse (that I mentioned in previous posts) told me in one of our discussions; she said that marriage and children were not actually significant for her until she received once an old patient who didn’t have any family member to take care of him. He was dying alone and this made her reconsider the importance of having children in her life.
I cannot really judge the idea of my colleague because simply I have no information about how the social security system works in his country. Thus I cannot make a comparison to give a conclusion.
I just wanted to share his idea…
